Good Friday to you and yours! First things first, we’ve been selling t-shirts like hotcakes, which you should get here. Or if you want our Lucia collabs, that’s over here and here and here.
But also: we’ve got a live show on April 16th in Brooklyn! We’re getting close to selling out but if you want to take a chance, I’m doing a VIP giveaway for two tickets thanks to Mayor! All you have to do is email me at jeff@itsthereal.com by Tuesday March 24th: send an R&B song, which would beat Styles P in an R&B playlist battle.
(Same deal as last time: I’ll randomize all entrants and let everyone — winner and losers — know next week, so you can get your affairs in order.)
Okay! Now into the real heart of the newsletter. In this week’s Cape Fear episode, we’ve got the first two appearances of Therapist Louch!
It all starts with Eric’s “It HuUuUUurt” response, when Sheek showed what he’d be like as a therapist: bully tactics mixed with genuine curiosity. A few days later, I set up the email account, Mayo did the theme song and Eric texted Sheek with the idea. Sheek’s response:
Now, I know what you’re thinking: therapists don’t wear lab coats or use glitter stethoscopes; they’re more interested in how your emotions and actions intersect, as opposed to monitoring your heart or lung health. And you wouldn’t be wrong for thinking us allowing Sheek to play therapist is sorta like this Far Side cartoon:
When we were fielding our first submissions — which we got from Manuel and Harry — I was honestly worried, because these were real people’s real issues: Manuel dealing with an empty nest, Harry bristling for something more in a job under his in-laws. But Sheek really responded with a mix of humor, emotional understanding and personal anecdotes. Who knew! He actually gave good advice!
We’ll be bringing back Therapist Louch in future episodes. Again, if you’ve got an issue that needs addressing (!), email him at Therapist.Louch@gmail.com.
The best was that Styles and Kiss had no idea that Sheek was 1) doing this or 2) going to be dressed up in a lab coat and glitter stethoscope, which you can see here:
A lot of you Readers of the Newsletter may be like: I wonder what Jeff does on any given day... well, there’s planning for the showcast, booking for the showcast, graphic design and writing sketches for the showcast, oh, and going on long, involved searches for props like Lugz and this week, a lab coat.
So I went up to a shop on 125th which is apparently the place for medical professionals to get their uniforms. They were set to open at 10am, I walked up a couple minutes early. To kill time as it rained, I stood under a bus stop and just stared at the closed gate like a psycho.
Finally, around 10:10, two people began to open up shop, a woman and a man. Doors open, I followed them inside. I noticed they have a routine: the woman sets up the front — turns on the front light, drags mannequins out to the street, outfits the mannequins, locks the mannequins so no one can grab them, etc. — and the man’s job was to stand there looking at me, confused. Eventually I got the hint, squinting through the entirely dark space at a sign that said “Scrubs in the back.”
It is a giant store, nearly as big as a gymnasium. I walked halfway back into (again) the entirely dark space before I thought, this is extremely stupid, I can’t see anything. I retreated to the front and asked the confused man to turn the lights on. He looked at me - now annoyed - and pointed at the woman, who was struggling to put a dress on one of the mannequins. Listen, guy, I’m just trying to buy a lab coat for my therapist friend, I don’t want to be here either!!! I again went to the back with the assistance of my phone flashlight.
I felt like (and looked like) Indiana Jones, examining the walls and racks with my faint light — I saw scrubs in all varieties: purple, blue, turquoise, lavender. I finally saw a whole row of white jackets, but they were for chefs. Would that be enough? Would Therapist Louch be able to tell the difference? And then! At last, the lady from the front turned a light on and right in front of me appeared: a rack of lab coats.
Sheek needed a 2X LAB COAT 🥼, as he said in the text. I find one, but then I’m like, is this big enough? So I take off my jacket, and I’m trying to appropriate this dude’s size, act as if I’m 75 pounds bigger, say “Jeff, your AKAs need work” out loud. The coat falls only right below my waist and it sorta looks like a dress shirt but I feel like it’s fine enough if he wears it open? Part of me wonders if I should’ve gotten the chef coat. Whatever, I’ll buy it and let Sheek cook.
Turns out: Sheek loved it, the IG comments loved it and you’ll get a 10% discount if you hit House of Angels on 125th and tell ‘em Jeff sent you!
I want to interview Mayo about the theme songs for Therapist Louch, Is Jadakiss Italian?, Karate Man and What’s Sheek Mad About? one of these days. Also, I’m gonna interview B Reddy about the shirts and logos he’s been doing for us.
Here’s the upcoming schedule for our episodes:
This week: Cape Fear (Sheek) — on Amazon Prime or free on YouTube with ads.
Monday: Teen Wolf (Jadakiss) feat. Lenny S. — on Tubi, Roku or Pluto for free.
March 30: The Devil Wears Prada (Jeff) — Disney+.
April 6: Superfly (Styles) — on Amazon Prime or Apple to rent or Hoopla for free.
April 13: Out of Sight (Eric) — on Amazon Prime or Apple to rent.
We’ll be announcing the movie for our live show next week!
That’s it for this week! As always, you can find us on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, Instagram, TikTok and right here, for our weekly newsletter. Also, here’s our merch shop and Google doc.
Come to our live show on April 16 in Brooklyn. Tickets will sell out, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Let go, let God, as we always say.
And here’s the suggestions from our Google doc from this week:
A lot of great ideas: Warriors might be my next pick after Devil Wears Prada, and I could see one of these being the pick for the live show on April 16th. Also, “My dad thought Mox was Nems” made me laugh. Don’t know if you saw, but Nems and Mox now have a food review show together! Check out Bars And Bites here.
I can’t wait for the devil wears Prada
honestly, his advice wasnt terrible (even though i didnt say that i want to quit my job to pursue my non-existent dreams to be a rapper - which somehow dr sheek understood) but to be fair, i laughed so goddamn hard when he was responding that i didn't even care!
11/10 (spinal tap would make an amazing episode i think)
Even though Eric said he'd never do a standup special, I still think louch can do it or at least a sitcom or sketch comedy show and kill it!
how can we start a petition to get 2J3BD to host SNL??