But first! Here’s a few things I’ve watched the past few weeks and some quick reviews:
Task (HBO):
Someone’s hitting traphouses in rural Pennsylvania — federal agents and gangs of bikers have competing investigations. Features one of the most gruesome deaths I’ve ever seen in film, and I’m still unsure how they actually filmed it? Stars Mark Ruffalo (who is always the best) and the brother-in-law from Ozark. It’s The Departed, if it took place outside Wa-Wa’s. We’re only halfway through but I give it 7.5/10 Rita’s warter ices.
The Chair Company (HBO):
Tim Robinson is a crazy person. I don’t know how to explain what is happening in this show, which is only two episodes in — but Tim is the master of creating these characters who experience some incredibly small slight and go ballistic in trying to find justice. Some people go 0-100, but Tim adds a dozen digits to that, radiating an intensity that makes me want to call his doctor(s). I give it 9/10 IKEA chairs.
Roofman (in theatres):
A smart, nice guy breaks into a bunch of McDonald’s, cutting holes through the roof. He gets arrested, escapes and somehow ends up living in a Toys R Us to evade capture. If it wasn’t based on a true story, I wouldn’t believe it. Also the fact that it’s real makes you like it more?
The character (named Jeff — there are so many Jeffs in popular culture right now and it’s starting to annoy me) makes bad decisions and you’re like, why isn’t this written differently? Oh, because Jeff really did that. Channing Tatum, Kirsten Dunst and Peter Dinklage are in it. 6/10 Furbys.
The Smashing Machine (in theatres):
Hated it. Will elaborate on it if I see you in person and you want to talk about it, but it was all bad to me. Sorry, The Rock, I was rooting for you. 10/10 Papers, which beat Rocks.
Last Wednesday, as Eric and I were driving up to Yonkers to record our next episode (The Sixth Sense), we got a call from Jadakiss’ manager: “Can you send over your passports? We’re gonna make the boat happen.”
The boat, in this case, is the Rock the Bells Cruise, a floating SOB’s which — over four days, from Miami to the Bahamas and back — will feature performances from The LOX, Juvenile, Da Brat, Lupe Fiasco, dead prez, a dozen other acts, comedians, DJs, Little Brother (who is also doing a Sip n Paint) and now…
2J3BD!
And we’re leaving in four days. So, that’s why the newsletter is late this week. Sue me! Also, as we’ll be on the boat, we’ll miss having an episode out on Monday. Sue us! (As with all our litigation moving forward, we will be enlisting the services of Rosenthal, Rosenthal & P.)
With some exception*, we were given the option of reviewing one of four movies the cruise will be showing onboard:
The live episode will revolve around: House Party! (Styles’ reason: “Gotta do House Party. Robin Harris is in it.”
*The Rock the Bells liason stressed we could choose a different movie if we wanted, and she would try to get it aired on the TV system. My choice would’ve been Titanic**, but I guess no one likes tempting fate and/or having fun. C’mon, let’s roll the dice!
**Don’t sleep on Titanic: it’d make for an incredible episode. Is drawing someone naked a good first date? How dare Rose hold onto the necklace for 100 years and then just toss it in the ocean? Is Jack a good guy or is he a baby-faced con man who capitalized on a relationship that had its issues? Maybe one day, we’ll do that episode.
Also: Our Dad didn’t like Titanic when we saw it as a family in 1997, because he said he already knew how it was going to end. Hahahaha, I see where I get my 2J3BD voice from.
If you haven’t, check out our first live 2J3BD episode, now on YouTube!
Not only is the conversation about the movie fun — What’s the most haram moment of the script? Is Something About Mary better than Dumb & Dumber? Is Brett Favre a bad person in real life? — but we did all three of our most popular segments: What’s Sheek Mad About?, Styles P’s Karate Man and Is Jadakiss Italian?
(Karate Man is going up on socials next week, but do us a favor and make sure to like/share/subscribe on all our posts as they go up! The algorithm is more punishing than The Smashing Machine.)
As always, you can find us on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, Instagram, TikTok and right here, for our weekly newsletter.
Feel free to suggest movies for us to review here! People hit us every day for us to review movies, and the only way for them not to be lost is in the Google form, linked right there.
See you next week!
Jeff every thing you do is fire!!!!!! Check your in box please